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Leadership Code of Conduct

Living and Working My Mantra

 

 

 

For nearly 10 years, I have followed a mantra as my personal and professional creed. A mantra is a positive affirmation that inspires you to be your best self -- to proclaim your own code of conduct for your life and your work. It’s a tool that allows you to turn your awareness inward to quiet and focus your mind. By living and working according to your mantra, you can form good habits, positively impact your brain and find fulfillment.

 

Years ago, I had the privilege to work with a very talented executive coach who took me on an introspective journey to find my best self. With her guidance and my self-reflection, I discovered the behaviors and habits I needed to hone to achieve this goal. Through this humbling and formative process, I developed my mantra. A framed copy of it gracing my desk, it has been omnipresent and serves as a reminder of the person I want to present -- whether facing a difficult situation, coaching someone through a challenge or managing change. My mantra has made me a better leader and, much like values statements, it has given me guardrails to use in how I operate. I hope it has also made me a better parent, daughter, sibling and friend.

 

Listen and focus,

show gratitude,

ask for help,

avoid blame and complaint and

find the value in every person.

 

 

Listen and Focus

 

I'm a very strong believer in listening and learning
from others. – Ruth Bader Ginsburg

 

Listening is a critical skill for leaders. Active listening is the practice of focusing solely on the speaker and what’s being said, really internalizing the message not just “hearing” it. A thoughtful response may be a simple validation of the message to convey a shared understanding. You might not agree with the message, but you can convey respect and empathy when you can demonstrate that you received and comprehend someone's message.

 

As both a leader and a parent, I use active listening simply to check in with people to see how they are doing and what they are feeling. It helps me develop empathy for people and helps validate their feelings, even if I cannot resolve the situation. Active listening over time builds trust between people, which helps them open up to each other and create safe environments for people to neutralize conflict, solve problems, build consensus and confirm mutual understanding.

 

One of my leadership practices is holding regular one-on-one conversations with direct reports, peers and my superiors to ensure open communication at every level. I also encourage “skip-level” meetings to take the pulse of an organization and create an opportunity for the mentorship of emerging leaders. I make time quarterly for conversations with individuals to talk about what’s working, what’s not, their professional development needs and goals. 

 

My favorite leadership tool is the “walk-and-talk” meeting. I have many fond memories of walking the parks near my former office with colleagues resulting in very engaging and productive discussions…and logging a few thousand steps on our trackers.

 

 

Show Gratitude

 

Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues,
but the parent of all of the others. – Cicero

 

Gratitude is the emotional state and demonstration of thankful appreciation for something received, a tangible act or even for something intangible. Many articles have been published on the scientific impact of gratitude on people and in the workplace. Showing gratitude is not merely saying “thank you”. Scientifically, showing appreciation elicits a biological response and lifts the mood -- both for the grateful giver and the receiver. 

 

For my part, I know as a young, ambitious professional how much I valued any show of attention or appreciation from my superiors. Earlier in my career, I had a division president who sent hand-written birthday cards to every person in her division each year. When I received her card, it was clear that she valued me and celebrated my contributions. Showing appreciation for one’s team, for their efforts and to do so with such genuine authenticity that can be felt provides a sense of fulfillment, belonging and purpose. Years later, when I became COO of an organization whose culture I was trying to evolve, I introduced "Shout-Outs" at our monthly all-company meetings to celebrate individuals and teams and to thank them publicly for their contributions.

 

Gratitude is free, simple and easy to do; every day find someone to honor with your gratitude.

 

 

Ask for Help

 

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength.
It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t
know something, and to learn something new. – Barack Obama

 

Asking for help was the hardest point of my mantra to learn and embrace. It required me to feel comfortable with vulnerability and acknowledge that I do not know everything and cannot do everything myself. It meant I needed to open up and start trusting those around me, something as a young manager I had difficulty doing, which caused me to fall into the trap of micromanagement. 

 

Learning to ask for help with sincerity gives other people a chance to showcase their talents and skills, and it can motivate people to bring their best ideas and work to the table. It can be very empowering for your colleagues.

 

As I rose in the ranks of my career to the C-suite, I learned quickly the benefits of letting go, enabling those with more specialized knowledge and experience to help me. This was a particularly important paradigm shift for me, especially after I changed companies and started working in an industry in which I had zero knowledge. Actually, the fact that I was new to the industry made it easier for me to ask for help. I was able to surround myself with experts who, through their contributions, helped me make decisions and take actions. There is a direct correlation between asking for help and developing mutual trust, being comfortable with your vulnerability and your humility.

 

Developing trust and letting go can be very liberating for you and for those around you.

 

 

Avoid Blame and Complaint

 

When you blame others you give up your power
to change. – Dr. Robert Anthony

 

This one seems so obvious, but it is also very common to make statements or pass judgments without even realizing it. Blaming others, complaining or coming up with excuses for inaction, missteps or failures is not productive, nor does it create a positive working environment.  By contrast, a culture based upon accountability can nurture a positive, collaborative and rewarding workplace.

 

I worked with a leadership team on which certain executives would actively undermine others to avoid accountability out of fear of failure, vulnerability or consequences. The result was a very toxic leadership team that was unable to collaborate or advance the organization forward because the bonds of trust were not only broken, they could not even be formed. This situation is even worse when a leader blames or complains about an employee. Trust in that leader is irrevocably broken, not just between the leader and individual, but among peers or other employees who may have witnessed the incident. 

 

To have ownership and accountability requires mindfulness, self-awareness, courage, confidence and honesty. One must be comfortable with transparency, visibility and the risk of making mistakes. The absence of accountability and trust leads to toxic cultures, breakdowns in teams and declines in productivity.

 

Accountability is the path to high-performing teams, collaborative solution-building, professional satisfaction and personal fulfillment.

 

 

Find the Value in Every Person

 

“To add value to others,one must first value others. – John Maxwell

 

Human beings are all unique in our talents, intellect and skills. It is these differences -- the mix of what we each contribute uniquely -- that strengthen a project, a team or an organization. When I am hiring, I look for candidates that have experience, ideas and knowledge that are different from mine or that can enhance an existing team. Such variety enriches our collective thinking and ability to create solutions. And through this lens, we must value what each individual brings to a team, organization, family unit and society.

 

As a leader, I must recognize that every individual on a team adds value. Organizations run more smoothly when they have the right people in the right seats. If someone is struggling, not contributing or unfulfilled, that individual may simply be in the wrong role and not leveraging his or her strengths. In these situations, I embrace positive intent and engage the individual to assess their talents either to coach the person to perform his or her best work, or to reassign and position the person for success in a new role. The aim is to help the individual feel valued through purpose and find professional fulfillment.

 

When you actively demonstrate how much you value someone as a person or their work, they will feel better...and you will feel better about yourself, too.

 

 

Putting It All Together

 

When you think about the tenets of this mantra, they are intertwined with each other. Regardless of the situation, this code of conduct reminds me to treat people with respect, dignity and integrity -- traits for which all human beings yearn. 

 

• Being curious about people -- asking questions and listening -- develops mutual respect.
• Showing gratitude helps people feel valued.
• Asking someone for help empowers that person and displays trust.
• Taking ownership and accountability demonstrates leadership.

 

Essentially, it all comes down to applying the Golden Rule -- treat others as you want to be treated -- one of the first basic principles we learn from our parents which, when followed throughout our lives, can lead to professional success and personal fulfillment.